


Ripples on the Surface

by UnknownUniverse



Series: Of Nifflers and Fruit Snacks [2]
Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 12:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29118387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnknownUniverse/pseuds/UnknownUniverse
Summary: Yeonjun dropped like a rock directly in the middle of the placid lake that was the great hall, and Soobin was directly next to him. It was bad enough trying to account for Beomgyu’s introduction but add the beautiful Slytherin and it was not okay.He was fine.Soobin glanced down at the food again. Whispers started up all around him, the rest of his classmates reacting to the sudden shift. The edges all looking towards the middle.The roll turned to ash in his mouth.He fled.Soobin never expected the changes that came when your best friend suddenly started dating the school's heart-throb. He was happy for Taehyun and Beomgyu, he truly was, but he could have done without the sudden attention on him from the rest of the school. Especially when along with Beomgyu came Yeonjun, the social butterfly, who threw off all of Soobin's carefully crafted routines.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Series: Of Nifflers and Fruit Snacks [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2136534
Comments: 19
Kudos: 104





	Ripples on the Surface

**Author's Note:**

> This story reflects a mild to moderate form of social anxiety in the main character. Please only read if you are comfortable with such.
> 
> Sequel to Worth the Risk as requested 😊 I know it’s not my usual soft style, so hopefully I didn’t disappoint!

There was something so welcoming about the shores of the Great Lake. When the wind picked up you could watch the waves rise and fall and when the air was still you could stare at the reflection of the sky in its glassy surface.

Most importantly, it was usually empty on the far shore.

“Stupid Taehyun falling for stupid Beomgyu.”

Soobin kicked one of the stones on the shore, watching it fall into the lake with a soft plop. The ripples spread rapidly before slowing as they got farther and farther away.

He sat down on the sand.

That’s exactly what it felt like sometimes. Every action caused ripples to appear in the social circles around them. Slytherin won the Quidditch cup after a daring catch by their seeker who immediately became a star. Those closest to him were also dragged into the excitement, the whispers spreading out rapidly from the Quidditch team all the way to their first years.

Soobin preferred to be as far from the center of attention as possible.

He took a deep breath. It was just too much excitement, too much change. He was okay. He just needed to breathe in and out. It was fine.

Ripples spread in the lake, reacting to movement below the surface.

A long tentacle hesitantly waved in the air.

Soobin shook his head at the Giant Squid, “Sorry bud, Huening Kai isn’t with me today.”

The tentacle dropped back into the water, splashing just enough to convey its disappointment. Of course, not even the Giant Squid wanted to deal with Soobin today. Kai had jumped out of bed this morning, rushing to get dressed as he shouted excitedly about meeting up with Yeonjun to help plan Beomgyu and Taehyun’s date to Hogsmeade next weekend. As much as Soobin was happy for the two, Taehyun deserved someone so bright in his life, wasn’t that something that they were supposed to do? Not their meddling best friends?

It was just… a lot. In what felt like a short amount of time.

Just a few days ago Kai had Yeonjun on his hit list, he _knows_ the yellow hair was one of his pranks no matter how effortlessly Yeonjun had pulled it off, and today they were suddenly best friends.

Too much. Too much.

Just breathe.

He focused back on the water. It was fine.

“Do you want to come to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?” Kai elegantly sat down on the bench next to him.

There was a natural grace to Kai, one that came with being confident in your own thoughts and goals. They had met in Kai’s first year when he bounced into the forest to try to meet a group of bowtruckles. Taehyun commonly called it _unbounded puppy energy_ and complained that Kai never thought anything through, Soobin found it admirable.

“Let Beomgyu and Taehyun enjoy their first date Kai.” For all his grace, Kai was a meddler, constantly trying to take care of his friends.

“Soobin!” He whined, leaning into him slightly. “Don’t you want to make sure it goes well?”

No, he really had no interest in inserting himself into his friend’s love life. If Taehyun wanted help, he would have asked. If something went wrong and Taehyun needed a shoulder to cry on, he knew how to find Soobin. They had been doing it for at least three years now, there was really no need to change it.

He glanced at Kai’s excited eyes, “Kai, I really think we should let them do this on their own.”

“Aww come on! Yeonjun is in on it too! So, it won’t just be like Taehyun’s friends are following them through Hogsmeade or something creepy like that.”

“Adding more people does not make it any less creepy.”

Adding more people sounded like a nightmare. Adding that specific popular person sounded like a horror movie.

“Good morning!”

Beomgyu and Taehyun walked in together, smiling. Taehyun was still skeptical, accepting Beomgyu’s smiles with a hesitant one of his own, walking together with just a bit of distance in between them, but he was giving it a chance. Soobin watched them sit down with a smile of his own. Taehyun looked excited and kept glancing at Beomgyu as he settled into a conversation with Kai.

Soobin nudged him gently with his foot.

Taehyun’s eyes shot forward, a light blush coating his cheeks.

Yeonjun dropped into the seat next to him.

He froze, eyes locked onto Taehyun.

“Hey guys!”

Yeonjun dropped like a rock directly in the middle of the placid lake that was the great hall, and Soobin was directly next to him. It was bad enough trying to account for Beomgyu’s introduction but add the beautiful Slytherin and it was not okay.

He was fine.

Glanced down at the food again. Whispers started up all around him, the rest of his classmates reacting to the sudden shift. The edges all looking towards the middle.

The roll turned to ash in his mouth.

He fled.

Muggle studies was extraordinarily boring when you grew up in a muggle town. He was technically wizard-born and was thus forced to sit through the class but sometimes he felt like he knew more than the professor.

“Does anyone know what this is?” Professor Weasley held up an instant pot.

Soobin sighed and went back to doodling.

“It creates a pressurized system that you can cook in using steam. Take these eggs for example.”

Soobin glanced up briefly to watch him place a strawberry basket with eggs in it inside the instant pot and click the appropriate buttons. He propped his head on his fisted hand and waited. Hopefully the Professor had already put some water in there so it would just turn into a melted plastic soup instead of destroying the pot. Could be interesting.

“Professor? Did you put any water in?” A cheerful voice piped up from the left side of the classroom.

That sounded a lot like Yeonjun. Since when did he know anything about muggle technology? Soobin turned his head slightly to watch the Slytherin.

“Ah Yeonjun! Have you used one before?”

He was smiling, “The water is the part that makes the steam to cook in.”

“Ah yes of course!”

Soobin shook his head, he had shared muggle studies with Yeonjun for years and he could have sworn that was the first time he ever heard him take an interest in the class, never mind point out the Professor’s mistakes. That was usually left up to Suzanne who definitely studied way too much for such mundane things. Were cell phones really that hard to understand?

Soobin rarely commented. It was true, he rarely commented in any class, but here specifically it was hilarious to see what weird ways the Professor would come up with to use some simple items. The things he said about a rubber duck…

Yeonjun was looking at him. Soobin snapped his head back to the front of the classroom as the Professor tried to pop open the top. Yeonjun was probably trying to be friendly because of Beomgyu. There was no reason to be startled by someone merely looking at you in class. It was fine. Focus on the instant pot, the potentially melted plastic.

Would some of the plastic already be melted? He tried to peer closer but there was no way he could see inside at this angle. The Professor would probably notice if the plastic was melting but… he watched him splash some water into the pot… then again maybe not.

“Soobin!”

Soobin jumped, stepping to the right so he didn’t freeze in the middle of the hallway where everyone was rushing to make it to their next class.

Yeonjun jogged up to him, not caring that he stood in the middle of the flow of students who merely diverted in order to walk around him. If it had been Soobin standing there, he would have been trampled.

“Hi Yeonjun.” He didn’t stutter but he did shift his eyes towards the ground. Baby steps.

“You have herbology next, right?”

He flicked his eyes upwards, catching only a brilliant smile before shifting them away again. The crowd had lessened somewhat, and there were only a few glances at them. It was fine.

“Yeah.”

“Let’s walk together!” Yeonjun nudged him in the shoulder slightly and they started walking. Somehow Yeonjun had angled his body such that he didn’t let Soobin fall in behind him, instead they were walking next to each other and taking up way more space in the hallway than they should.

He glanced around nervously before putting his head down and starting to walk quicker. Yeonjun merely shifted his pace to match his.

“Any exciting plans for this week?”

Small talk. Okay. Right. This was Taehyun’s soon-to-be boyfriend’s best friend. Soobin could do small talk with him.

“Studying?”

Dumb dumb dumb.

Yeonjun laughed.

“I know I should be as well. Maybe now that Beomgyu won’t be whining to me about Taehyun for hours a day I can actually get some studying done.”

Soobin nodded. Yes, good, it was fine. Kai seemed to like Yeonjun now, so Soobin could take a deep breath and give it a try. He chanced a glance up as they made it out onto the grounds.

“Hey Yeonjun!” Tall, broad shoulders, moving quickly in their direction.

Breathe. They weren’t talking to him. It was fine.

“Yo man! You ready for the dragon today?”

“Hey wait up!”

Too many. There were bodies coming from all directions, unknown faces in various states of emotions. That one was excited. There was some fear over there. Exhaustion creeping into the edges of another. Another was looking at him, opening his mouth.

“Who’s your friend?”

If there was a spell to turn invisible, Soobin would have mastered it ages ago. Instead, he bowed, he _bowed_ , stupid stupid they didn’t bow here ever.

“Have a nice day!” His voice was tight but steady. He’d take it.

He turned on his heel and walked back into Hogwarts. There were other ways to get to the greenhouses, ones that involved secret passages and therefore _no people._

He took a deep breath of the moist warm air, light smells of composting soils wafting around him, and focused on repotting the stinging nettle. Herbology was scarce once you got into the advanced classes, so it was just him and the plants on this side of the greenhouse. It wasn’t his favorite subject but he was thankful for the quiet time.

Felix nodded at him from across the greenhouse and that was the extent of required social interaction.

“Soobin!”

He _knew_ he should have taken the secret passageways again. He walked faster.

“Hey, wait up! Want to walk to geology together?”

No. No he did not. He could hear the footsteps of the rest of Yeonjun’s class, the rest of his friends, clattering behind him. There was the brief ebb and flow of excited conversations about the dragon from care of magical creatures.

“Soobin?”

Yeonjun caught up with him anyway.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Too many people. So many eyes watching the handsome Slytherin chase after the stupid shy Hufflepuff. Probably wondering what was happening, if it was another trick on Soobin, if Soobin had decided to _follow his roots_ and finally _go to the dark side_ because _that’s where you belong anyway._ The secret death eater. Watch him try to recruit Yeonjun the star, over to the dark side. Look. See. Stupid. Who would want to ever be friends with him? Evil. How many do you think his family killed? Tortured? How could they ever let him go to school here? Stupid. Ugly. Evil.

“Soobin!”

The voices quieted and Soobin blinked open his eyes. Yeonjun was crouched in front of him, hands on his shoulders, voice firm as he stared at him. There was quiet around him. He glanced around; they were in an empty room somewhere. He could vaguely hear the change of classes from the hallway behind him. Yeonjun released one of his shoulders, bent down, and offered him a water bottle.

“It’s clean. I haven’t used it since I last cleaned it.”

His hands were shaking as he grasped the water bottle. Now Yeonjun gets to see him like this _again._ Stupid. Idiot.

“Do you want me to get Huening Kai? Taehyun?”

“No!”

He just wanted to get to class. Just. Sit down in the back somewhere no one would spot him and listen to someone else talk about something completely different for a few hours.

“Okay. Are you ready to go to class?”

Soobin stood up. “Yes, thank you.” He handed back the water bottle without drinking anything.

Yeonjun stood up with him and held open the door.

“I’m fine on my own, thank you.” Soobin glanced at him, staying inside the classroom.

Yeonjun’s face fell, “What? We’re going to the same class.”

Yes but…

“I’m sure your friends are waiting for you.”

“But I wanted to…” Yeonjun trailed off, his eyes searching Soobin carefully. “Do you not want to be seen with me?”

“Not particularly, no.” It just slipped out. It completed slipped out.

Yeonjun froze. “Oh.”

He wanted to tell Yeonjun to wait, to come back, to explain it wasn’t him necessarily, but it was everything that came with him being well… _him_. Which wasn’t helping explain anything really. Shit shit. Stupid useless Soobin hurting everyone around him.

“Can you tell me why?” Yeonjun’s voice was soft.

“Yes!” Yes. Yes he could. He needed to. “Not… now?” He needed time to word things and to make it clear and he needed Kai to make sure it wouldn’t be mean and Taehyun to make sure it made sense. He needed… he needed time.

“Okay Soobin.” Soft, it was so soft, why was he being so nice? Soobin was a wreck and he was just… so calm. “I’ll go ahead now, but I’ll see you later?”

Yes. Yes. Later. He could do later, maybe somewhere quiet or maybe he could hide behind Kai. Yeonjun was still waiting.

“Okay.”

Yeonjun smiled and left.

He wasn’t a wreck the rest of the day. It wasn’t a panic attack it was just… a lot of concerns all at once. That was all.

Taehyun picked up on it immediately.

Instead of staying in the great hall he and Kai shoved food into their bags and led him to the open astronomy tour, the one without all the fancy equipment so they wouldn’t get yelled at for having food.

He stared at the food in front of him. He had never been good at keeping secrets and this wasn’t even really a secret.

Kai leaned against him and started talking excitedly about helping Professor Kim feed the dragons that morning. Taehyun kept silently handing him food.

“Oh! Wait you should be with Beomgyu!” He was keeping his best friend from spending time with someone that made him happy and excited. He was a terrible friend. They shouldn’t be here, they didn’t need to come hide away with the school freak. This was all his fault.

“Excuse you, I make my own decisions. I happen to love astronomy.”

Kai snorted.

“What?”

“So studious.” He teased, leaning back. “I’m here for the lovely creatures, thanks for asking.”

Taehyun huffed.

“Well, I’m just saying, I’m here for my own reasons so you can shut up about Beomgyu because he doesn’t run my life thank you very much.”

“Ooooh trouble in paradise already? Isn’t this like day 3?”

“We’re taking it slow!”

“Is pining for three years considered slow now?”

“Huening Kai!” Taehyun reached across Soobin to grab Kai and they ended up in a heap on the ground.

Soobin grinned and separated them, forcing a laughing Kai to his left and a grumpy Taehyun to his right. It was nice, it was normal, it felt like nothing had changed. But so much had.

“Yeonjun walked me to class.” He blurted out.

He could practically feel Taehyun and Kai glancing at each other.

“Is that a bad thing?” Taehyun’s voice was curious, a bit quieter than usual, but just as serious.

“No? Yes. Wait.” He groaned and shook his head. “It wasn’t that he walked me to class but that others came too? Or saw us?”

“Ah, okay.” Kai was nodding.

“Don’t prank him!” Soobin grasped Kai’s hands, “He didn’t say anything mean and he helped me when I was freaking out, it was me! It was just me.”

Kai smiled, “Don’t worry Soobin. He’s not on my list anymore.”

Soobin released a breath and stared up at the night sky. Ripples of light tearing across the fabric of space. Rocks that could burn themselves up or destroy whole planets.

He had to talk to Yeonjun. He had promised. That didn’t mean he needed to do it _immediately_.

They all sat together at breakfast. Beomgyu carefully sitting next to Taehyun and offering a hesitant smile which was immediately returned. Yeonjun sat on Beomgyu’s other side, across from Kai, and offered him a slight smile but didn’t push. Soobin reached for a roll and forced it down. It was fine.

He left for class without listening to a single word his friends said and Yeonjun didn’t follow.

There was a bag of pretzels, muggle pretzels, sitting on his usual seat in muggle studies. A small note simply read “Soobin”. He glanced around but as always he was the first one in the classroom.

It wouldn’t be the first time someone tried to prank him through food, but it would be the first time it was through his favorite muggle snack for when he was feeling… off.

He was fine.

Sucking in a breath he cast the simple charm to check for tampering that Professor Davies taught him after the last… accident. No flash of color. No indication there was anything wrong with the food. He settled into his seat and stared at them, glancing around. Still empty.

He popped open the bag. Even if it was a prank, he could still enjoy the taste.

So simple, and yet it helped settle his thoughts.

It was fine.

Taehyun came back from his date with Beomgyu trying to hide a giant grin clutching a small bag of candies and mumbling about deciding to officially be boyfriends. Kai burst into the common room moments later demanding details because their spying mission was a complete failure. Taehyun refused.

“It was nice and I’m happy!”

“But what happened? Give me details! Did you kiss?” Kai tried pulling out the puppy dog eyes and got a pillow to the face for it.

The pillow fight that commenced was only upstaged by the small bag of muggle goldfish crackers Soobin found in his bag earlier that day. Over the week it had gravitated from small snacks with his name on it in his usual seat to snacks just appearing in his bag. They were all comfort foods, muggle brands he ate back home when he was having a bad day. None had made him sick or reacted to the tampering charm and they were some of the only food he could get down when the staring was particularly pointed in the great hall. That was one thing he had learned quickly, sometimes calories were calories. It didn’t matter as much where you got them from, only that you were able to eat them.

Yeonjun was still waiting. He hadn’t pushed for an explanation, left their interactions as quiet greetings when in public, and talked excitedly about geology or classes whenever it was the five of them together. Somehow, he managed to make it clear that he still wanted to talk to Soobin but was content with waiting until Soobin was ready. It was strange to feel grateful to a near stranger, but he wasn’t a stranger anymore, not really.

Yeonjun was talkative and boisterous, easily excitable especially when it came to anything related to geology, and passionate about his friends, his family, and his studies. Sure, he was a social butterfly, but there was so much more under his extroverted mask.

So maybe Soobin had started paying more attention to the Slytherin.

Maybe he had even been able to start a conversation with him.

Maybe he wanted to get to know him better.

Maybe he wanted that brilliant smile directed at him sometime, to listen to his excited rants about the structural stability of stones and how its used to construct buildings through spellwork.

Maybe he would be ready for the change.

“I’m fairly sure that’s a vacuum cleaner Professor.”

It had become commonplace for Yeonjun to raise his hand during muggle studies. The past few weeks he had managed to stave off at least three fires and a potential electrocution hazard. It was starting to make muggle studies even more boring than before. What was the point in staying awake if not the inevitable explosions?

Soobin looked towards the front of the classroom. It was in fact, a Roomba and should definitely not be moving towards that pile of… was that mashed potatoes?

“Yes Yeonjun! It appears to be designed to eat the garbage and keep going!”

“Professor, I’m fairly sure it’s meant to like clean floors and carpet. Not food waste.” Yeonjun sounded hesitant, a bit wary, as he watched the Roomba.

It would definitely clog the Roomba.

“No no, watch, it runs off the food waste, see? So, it needs it to keep going!”

No, it ran on electricity. How Professor Weasley had even managed to turn it on if it wasn’t charged was beyond Soobin. At the same time… Soobin eyed Yeonjun quietly. Even Suzanne hadn’t known what a Roomba was, it wasn’t all together that common. They had learned about vacuum cleaners before but based on her confused expression he would bet Roombas weren’t even in the textbooks.

He shook his head. Maybe Yeonjun had started watching muggle movies or something, goodness knows Taehyun loves them, so it was possible.

There was a packet of fruit snacks in his bag and a new pen.

Soobin stared at them for a moment before sitting down in the Hufflepuff common room. The only person who knew of his comfort foods besides his aunt, uncle, and cousins, was Kai. Thus, he had assumed his mysterious snack benefactor was his best friend.

Kai hated fruit snacks. Flat out refused to buy them.

Taehyun then?

Taehyun wouldn’t have a way of getting the muggle snacks. Plus, all his free time was spent with Soobin and Kai or with Beomgyu and he doubted they made it a point to go buy Soobin some snacks while out on a date together. It was doubtful they even knew what the snacks were, even if Kai told him for some reason.

He cast the spell. Safe.

Plus, why would there be a new pen? It was a nice one too, one of the quick dry ink pens Soobin preferred but ran out of early every semester. He still had the cheap ballpoint pens that worked fine but he had finished his last ink one a week ago.

What other muggleborn was nice to him? Felix?

Kai walked into the common room, glanced at the fruit snacks, and sat down without a blink.

“Hey Soobin.”

“Did you buy me fruit snacks?” He blurted out.

A slow smirk spreading across his face. “Nope. Where did you find them?” Soobin had seen that exact smirk on his face whenever he was proud of his latest prank. It was how he always caught him.

“What did you do this time.” He deadpanned.

“Nothing!” Kai held up his hands, “I swear it!”

“ _Huening Kai_.”

“It wasn’t me!”

Soobin stared at him. “Are you telling me this whole time the snacks appearing in my bag haven’t been from you?”

Kai’s grin got even bigger, “Not me!”

Then where were they coming from? How did someone know? Was this all an elaborate prank? He glanced at his best friend. Surely Kai wouldn’t do that to him, but he also wouldn’t be smiling so much if he didn’t know something about it.

He gripped Kai’s robes in his fists, “ _What did you do?”_

“Woah! What’s going on?” Taehyun burst into the room, Beomgyu at his heels.

Kai just smiled, “Soobin thinks I know something about the snacks appearing in his bag.”

“And the pens!” He burst out. “And the flower and the perfumes and the lotion and all the other things that have shown up but haven’t been pranks!”

Now all three of them were smiling. Great. Beomgyu had his arm settled around Taehyun’s waist and they both grinned down at him holding his stupid bag of fruit snacks. At least there was no one else in the common room to watch his meltdown and spread it across the whole school. Stupid Soobin being dumb again.

“Do you like them?” Taehyun’s voice cut through the fog in his head.

He glanced up, “What?”

Taehyun nodded at the fruit snacks and pen, “Do you like them?”

Yes. Yes, he did.

He looked up, knowing that Taehyun wouldn’t need a verbal response.

Taehyun smiled softly, leaning slightly into Beomgyu, “Then maybe you should focus on enjoying them? I’d imagine that’s all the gift giver wanted to begin with, to gift you a little kindness, hmmm?”

Why would someone want to do that?

Still, he nodded dumbly and opened the package. He hadn’t had fruit snacks in so long…

Yeonjun smiled when he walked in a bit later, spreading out his textbooks next to him on the table. He nodded to the snack Soobin was quietly savoring, “What’s that?”

Soobin glanced around and ducked his head, no one was watching. He nudged the package towards Yeonjun, “Fruit snacks. Muggle snack. Want to try one? Strawberry is the best.”

Yeonjun popped one in his mouth and smiled, “Interesting flavor. Much more pleasant than every flavor beans, that’s for sure.”

Soobin felt himself smile and looked back down at his notes. He needed to explain to Yeonjun. He had promised.

They met out at the Great Lake. Kai was happily chatting with the Giant Squid, petting his long tentacle as Soobin stared out across the rippling water. The wind was strong today, rustling through his hair and picking up waves on the lake’s surface. Yeonjun settled on a blanket next to him and leaned back.

“Beautiful spot.” He murmured.

Soobin nodded, “You said that last time.”

“Did I?” Yeonjun turned to look at him. “I honestly wasn’t sure I managed to even get a word out last time.”

Soobin shrugged. He didn’t want to bring up the fact that he remembered every word Yeonjun had ever spoken to him, none of which had been cruel. He had been too embarrassed to tell Kai it wasn’t his fault after the panic attack had finally subsided. Too embarrassed that he had let himself live in the fantasy where Yeonjun actually liked him, or at least wanted to be his friend.

He shook his head.

“I’m sorry Soobin.”

What? Wait, what was happening?

“I don’t think I ever told you that.” Yeonjun’s smile was soft, quiet in the breeze, “I’m sorry for what happened last time. For not stopping them.”

“It’s okay.” No one ever stopped them. That’s what happened, that’s how it went when your parents were death eaters. That’s all anyone ever saw. That’s all Soobin _was_.

Yeonjun leaned towards him, “No, Soobin. It is _not_ okay. Next time I will stop them, and I will continue to stop them any time it happens in the future. You are _not_ your parents and anyone who thinks otherwise is a narrow-minded fool.”

It wasn’t anything different than his aunt had told him time and time again when kids teased him. He was his own person, he could do whatever he wanted. Yet, it felt different coming from Yeonjun. Coming from the talkative serious boy sitting beside him in his safe space by the Great Lake.

He placed his hand on Yeonjun’s arm. “I get anxious with change sometimes, especially with crowds or when it feels like people are judging me. It happens, it’s not your fault.” He took a deep breath. Rip it off. All the way. “I’m working on it, but it takes time and trust and right now I’m still stuck as my parent’s son. I will get through it, I know I will, and it really is okay. I am okay. Even with the occasional panic attacks or trouble eating or negative thoughts. I know myself and I’m getting better at trusting myself but…” How do you explain years of social anxiety to someone as put together as Yeonjun?

“You’re doing great.” A warm hand on his arm. “That doesn’t mean that every now and then you shouldn’t have a friend support you and stand up for you. I want to be there. Soobin, I want to be that person you can rely on whether you need someone to yell at assholes or a shoulder to cry on. I want to be there.”

He stared at Yeonjun, speechless. Kai and Taehyun always stood up for him but there was only so much they could do, so much Soobin let them do. Yeonjun was saying he _wanted to._ He _wanted_ to stand by Soobin as he navigated his anxieties. He _wanted_ to be there even on the bad days.

“Did you like the snacks Soobin?” Yeonjun asked quietly.

Snacks? Oh.

“I loved them.” He whispered.

A brilliant smile.

“What would you say to spending a bit more time together?” Yeonjun’s eyes were kind, unassuming but unwavering in his hope, “We don’t need to call attention to it. Just me and you, no one else needs to be involved.”

Soobin could feel the hope blossom inside his chest, the desire to _try_. At the same time a wave of fear crashed over his head. What would this change? How would others perceive him? Them? What would happen?

A soothing pattern drawn lightly on his hands, “It’s okay Soobin. Baby steps, right? One small change that others don’t need to see for a while. Just us.”

“How did you know about muggle snacks?” He blurted out, cringing at the awkward subject change.

Yeonjun just smiled again, “Huening Kai and Taehyun may have given me suggestions. And a crash course into muggle technology and food.” He shrugged. “And I may have taken out most of the books in the library on muggle studies.”

Soobin gaped at him.

“I had to understand first before I could woo you, didn’t I?” Yeonjun reached a hand towards him, palm up, giggling quietly at his phrasing. Soobin stared at it for a moment before grabbing it. “Two particularly close friends of yours once told me to try a little kindness first. I like to think I took their advice well.”

Soobin glanced out at Kai, playing with the Giant Squid but glancing back at them every now and then. Taehyun and Beomgyu standing in the water holding hands after a splash battle left them both soaked, subtly watching them while pretending to watch Kai with the Giant Squid.

His friends, his family, slowly growing with the smiles on their faces.

He glanced at Yeonjun.

“I say I’m fine a lot.”

“I know, that was one of the first things Huening Kai told me.”

“He’s a traitor and dead to me.”

A loud laugh, catching the attention of his three friends. It wouldn’t be easy, he knew there were going to be challenges, things to work out. That was life. Yet looking around as he let himself lean into Yeonjun and watching his three friends wade out of the water and make their way over to them, it really did feel fine.

He was fine.

They were fine.

Together.

The next year’s Yule Ball Soobin confidently took the hand of Hogwart’s social butterfly and let Yeonjun guide him to the dance floor. People turned to stare, ripples cascading away from them as Taehyun and Beomgyu danced at their side and Huening Kai dashed around. Soobin gripped Yeonjun’s hand a little tighter and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> When I wrote Worth the Risk I wrote in Soobin as a character with social anxiety (also known as social phobia) onset from cruel judgements of his peers due to family heritage. Social anxiety is not something easy to overcome and the particular type I wrote for Soobin would make forming a romantic relationship difficult. I debated changing his character and writing something softer before deciding to ultimately leave it. Social anxiety is something important to me, important to those close to me, and I hope I gave it the respect it deserves.
> 
> "It's fine" and the various derivatives of such, stems from part of a method to manage social anxiety - essentially you tell yourself something positive, or at least not negative, repeatedly in the situations that may usually induce negative thoughts to try to change your perception of the situation. So if you were wondering - that's the reason behind the repetition of the phrase even when it seems like Soobin is not feeling "fine".
> 
> Next month’s story will most likely be back to my usual soft(er) style. I tend to stay within the Hogwarts universe – or at least magical realism – but am always open to suggestions!


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